Thin Skinnned

Well, it happened: my first rejection from an art show.  I got the email yesterday, early in the morning (I wanted to post my blog yesterday, but my Internet was running slooow).  It was from the Boston Mills Artfest, located near Akron, Ohio.

I knew going into this new venture that it was going to be tough and competitive.  Steve's aunt and cousin, who are very experienced in the world of art shows, have explained this to me.  And I honestly didn't know how I was going to react from rejection.  I knew it was bound to happen, and I thought I would be okay with it.  But, I wasn't.  I'm a sensitive person, and I took it personally.  I guess it is hard to NOT take it personally since you are putting yourself out there through your artwork. 

I read the email that politely explained I was not picked, that there was a TON of competition the jurors had to choose from, and I called Steve.  After I called Steve, I emailed my mom.  After I emailed my mom, I started investigating.  Who was picked?  Are they better than me?  Who, exactly, are these jurors that voted on my work?  Are my artwork images not good enough?  I realized I was reacting this way because the Boston Mills Artfest was my first response from a show, and it was a rejection.  I finally get what Aunt Sandi and Karyn (cousin) were telling me.  If you apply to 10 art shows, you will hopefully get into 2. 

Steve knows how obsessive I can be, and he called and checked up, sent texts.  I love him so much.  He is definitely my cheerleader, my rock.  He's been his own boss now for over 10 years, and he knows how hard it can be to "win a client over."  So, he was giving me the pep talk, telling me that my artwork is beautiful, and that this was only one rejection, and that I need to keep pushing forward and grow thicker skin.  Rejection is part of the game.

Steve and our kids, Camper and Pilot

I pouted for a while, but mostly it just made me feel nervous.  What if I don't get into any of the art shows I apply to?!?!  I don't want to go back to working in the corporate world!  My mind was running, wondering what I would do if I didn't get picked by any show. 

After going through a ton of emotions, I finally calmed down and thought about things logically and clearly.  I need to accept the fact that I am new to the art world.  I have a lot to learn, and it is not going to be easy.  As fabulous and innovative as I think I am, others may not see it that way.  I need to accept that I might not get into any of the shows I apply to this year.  And regardless of getting into art shows this year or not, I need to keep pushing forward and try harder.  So, I resolve to try to maintain my positive attitude, and keep doing what I love-- with minimal whining. :)

Peacing out,
Nikki